- Lorna Ciccone and Melissa Roumanis dreamed of changing into mother and father, so did Dennis Kwan — and all three had been capable of see their goals got here to fruition collectively
- Ciccone and Roumanis, who bought married shortly earlier than their daughter’s beginning, met Kwan in January 2023 by way of a Fb web page that connects members of the LGBTQ+ neighborhood with sperm donors
- “As a lot as he’s the dad to our baby, he’s very a lot our companion,” Ciccone tells PEOPLE, including that Kwan has already “introduced a lot to our lives”
Lorna Ciccone and Melissa Roumanis dreamed of changing into mother and father. So did Dennis Kwan. Due to a Fb web page that connects members of the LGBTQ+ neighborhood with sperm donors, all there have been capable of see their goals come to fruition collectively.
With Kwan, 42, as their sperm donor, Ciccone, 39, and Roumanis, 37, had been capable of get pregnant, and welcomed daughter Ajla on Sept. 25.
Now, the trio are solely opening as much as PEOPLE about their journey and providing an inside take a look at how their particular household got here to be.
Ciccone, a Naturopathic Physician, and Roumanis, a school professor, inform PEOPLE they knew they needed to begin a household collectively shortly after assembly over 5 in the past, and had been wanting into choices for 2 years earlier than Kwan entered the image.
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Kwan, a professional photographer, had at all times envisioned being a dad in some way. “However the best way my life went, I journey consistently, at all times on the street, I noticed that I actually do not have room to be a full-time dad or mum, whether or not or not I am a single dad or mum or partnered. In order that’s how this journey took place.”
Shortly after he turned 41, he noticed an episode of Lisa Ling’s docuseries This Is Life known as ‘Obtained Sperm’. On the time he had no concept so many ladies had been on the lookout for donors and must resort to sperm banks. “There are males who’ve a whole lot of youngsters on the market and are serial sperm donors. I simply thought, ‘Wow, that is loopy.'”
That gave him an concept, and in January 2023, Kwan went to Fb, discovered the “LGBT Sperm Donors” web page and introduced he was prepared to donate, however solely underneath sure situations.
“I made a put up that stated, ‘Hey, I am a single homosexual man. I’ve this concept of being a sperm donor and I am solely all in favour of doing it if I will be concerned. I solely wish to assist make a toddler if I do know it should be raised by nice individuals and if I will be concerned as a enjoyable uncle.'”
Very quickly, Kwan says he obtained a “wild variety of responses” to his inquiry, together with from Ciccone and Roumanis who’re primarily based in Victoria, British Columbia.
Each Ciccone and Roumanis had been open to Kwan being part of their kid’s life and so they all clicked instantly.
Kwan tells PEOPLE they “actually hit it off” throughout their first, hour-long Zoom name collectively, and did so once more the next month when Ciccone and Roumanis spent a weekend with him in California. “All of us agreed that we felt like we hit the jackpot,” Kwan recollects.
A short while later, the trio agreed to attempt to conceive collectively. In any case events signed authorized agreements, they made their first try with an at house insemination equipment in March 2023.
After 9 months of attempting with no success, the trio opted to discover intrauterine insemination (IUI). “When you’re on that journey, you surprise, ‘Am I going to be a type of people who is ready to conceive? Does my journey finish with out a baby?’ recollects Ciccone of the emotional fertility rollercoaster. Lastly, she bought the glad information they had been ready for: she was pregnant.
It was a particular second for Ciccone, who, like one in 4 girls, has polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). For a few years, she believed it could be tough for her to get pregnant.
“The truth that we nonetheless had been capable of conceive, at all times simply seems like a miracle,” Ciccone says.
Earlier than the newborn was born, the trio needed to reply some severe questions. Who could be on the beginning certificates? (They finally determined each mothers could be listed.) Would their daughter name Kwan “dad,” or one thing else?
“We had that dialog and he was stated, ‘I would be honored to be known as dad, simply so long as that is what you need,'” says Ciccone. “She will get to have two mothers and a dad.”
In addition they mentioned what sort of function will Kwan have within the household’s life. They hope to spend time collectively throughout holidays, household occasions, holidays and extra, however they’re all “versatile” with the way it performs out.
“No matter relationship Dennis desires to have, we’re so open and welcoming to it,” says Ciccone. “As a lot as he’s the dad to our baby, he’s very a lot our companion,” she says, including that Kwan has already “introduced a lot to our lives”
Kwan is he is excited for the “new household dynamic” they’ve created, but in addition desires to ensure “to offer them their area to have their household time too,” he says. “The kid’s going to be half Asian, so that they’re very excited for her to be linked to the Asian aspect of her household.”
In August, Kwan and his mother Cathie Kwan had been even current for the couple’s wedding ceremony at Virgin Hotel Las Vegas. “She is that this wonderful gentle and enjoyable, unbelievable bonus grandparent that we’re so excited to have in our daughter’s life,” says Ciccone of Kwan’s mother including, “We have additionally met Dennis’s dad and his companion, and he’s simply an unbelievable, pretty human that we’d be honored to play that function of grandfather.
On Sept. 25, Ciccone gave beginning to Ajla per week early. ” I am unable to consider she selected us to be her household,” says Ciccone. “I’ve this thought each time I take a look at her.”
Provides Roumanis: “When Ajla set free her first little whimper, it was probably the most magical sound. It is nonetheless exhausting to consider that is actual — that we have really introduced somebody into the world.”
Each new mothers are wanting ahead to creating one of the best life for his or her daughter and seeing the individual she’ll develop into. “I am excited to have this actually unbelievable alternative to create this container of security for somebody to discover their very own life,” Ciccone says.
Kwan says he and the 2 mothers are “already consistently involved by way of WhatsApp,” and he is assured they may keep a wholesome line of communication. After getting information that child Ajla was coming per week early, he hopped on a flight to Vancouver and formally entered his “Daddy period.”
“It nonetheless all feels very surreal,” says Kwan of assembly her for the primary time. “I simply stared at her. It was fairly magical.”
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Now, Kwan is soft-launching a brand new service known as Gaybe Baby, which helps match LGBTQ+ {couples} and single girls with homosexual sperm donors. The Gaybe Child app shall be much like Tinder, “the place individuals can simply swipe” by way of their choices and discover matches.
“Over the course of my very own journey, I noticed that there have been many homosexual males on the market who could be an unbelievable uncle, dads additionally, and in addition desired this type of relationship with somebody, with a pair or a single girl even,” he explains.
As she displays on their journey, Ciccone says the expertise has helped her see household life in a brand new perspective. “You do not have to be restricted by the programs in place or the assumption programs that you just had been raised with,” she tells PEOPLE. “You actually can take a minute to create no matter it’s you need.”
Roumanis provides, “If we will make one thing a little bit bit simpler for the subsequent individual, I believe that’s the neatest thing that we might move on.”